I'm talking about using the horn on your motorized vehicle, by the way; not the horn on a rhinoceros or unicorn or anything. That would be admittedly awesome though, because the latter would imply the taming and/or slaughtering of a rhinoceros and/or unicorn. 'Nuff said.
On my way home today, I was caught in that awkward situation of being in the merging lane whilst three other vehicles were trying to merge next into my lane, all going at the same speed as I. Ultimately, two vehicles wound up merging ahead of me in such an awkward manner as to cause a rather significant (albeit temporary) slowdown. Almost immediately following said deceleration, I heard the squawking horn of an irritated driver.
Thing is - the car was two or three spots *behind* me, and it was blowing steam at the vehicle two spots ahead of me. It wasn't far enough that the honker couldn't see who was responsible, but it was far back enough to trigger a "what the fuck?" train of thought.
Seriously - at that far behind, the car causing the slowdown was probably barely even able to hear it (we're talking a fairly weak horn here). Even if the driver did hear, s/he likely didn't give a shit. More likely than anything, the honking horn just pissed off the people in between (myself included), whom were already a little miffed at being pushed back by a procrastinating driver.
People use the horn way too much nowadays. Sure - some people don't use it often enough, like me. But people use them for all the wrong reasons, and they like to use them in groups. Driving time is for driving, people; it's not time to orchestrate the most fucktastically irritating symphony of all time. If that was the intention of your horn, the manufacturer would make it play a musical tone or a small clip from Beethoven's "Ode to Joy".
Speaking of - how awesome would it be if car horns were more like musical instruments, and they all synchronized a melody over Bluetooth or radio? That would be fucking sweet. Imagine yourself in a traffic jam, mildly irritated/ridiculously irate at the lack of forward motion, and two or three drivers start honking right next to you. But instead of the annoying HONK of a horn, you hear Brahm's Lullaby?
I figure there are really only two outcomes: a) you smile cutely at the little jingle, or b) you get even more pissed off and launch into a fit of road rage galore. Then you grab your crowbar, baseball bat, car jack, battle axe, etc., get out of your car, bust open the window of the nearest driver and beat the shit of her and her three kids.
Sweet.
Signing off...with little to no penetration.
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