Quick poll: how many of you get orgasmic at the idea of a checking account with free online banking, no monthly fees, no minimum transaction amounts and maybe even (gasp!) FREE PAPER CHECKS??
Oh...none of you? Why the fuck not??
...right, because that shit's been around for years already. Even the local Credit Unions have been offering that for a while now. So why do banks continue to advertise these feature as if they're the latest, greatest thing? Maybe bank marketing reps are a bunch of shitheads. Yeah...that's the conclusion I'm going with.
Hell, I should look into that as an alternative career option. If Marketing for banks is as simple as reminding everyone of the same features everyone else has been offering for the last decade, that job should be a snap!
"Welcome to JRose Bank! Did you know you can deposit cash AFTER HOURS with our 24-hour ATM service?? HOLY FUCKING SHIT, GAIZ...THIS IS AWESOME!!!"
I wonder if that works for other industries...
"Introducing the 2012 Chevy Camaro, fully-equipped with an AM/FM radio and power steering!"
I can already imagine the GM execs getting wet at hearing that line before throwing fat stacks of cash at my feet.
Signing off...with little to no penetration.
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