I picked up some food items during lunch today and decided to store them in the office refrigerator. Before doing so, I wrote my name on the containers with permanent marker...not so much to deter potential thieves (it wouldn't work anyway), but to let people know that it was not communal mayo and mustard sitting in the door there. Hey - the world doesn't always deserve my generosity.
It did get me thinking about office thievery though, and how I might respond if someone stole my food. The most awesome response I could come up with would almost certainly result in disciplinary action, but I'd still like to share the e-mail I would love to write:
"Once upon a time there was a man. A simple man, who wanted nothing more than to store his foodstuffs safely in the community refrigerator. This man made clear to mark his belongings so as to prevent any ownership confusion.
Alas, under the cover of darkness, a crafty vagabond stole away from this man the food he had stored, and the man's lunch break was subsequently ruined.
...yeah, so someone stole my food from the fridge. It had my name on it. Mine. One that is not shared with anyone in the office. Not even my first name.
So I'm going to let everyone in on a secret: I rub my balls and occasionally even my donger on any food item I store in the fridge. I'd tell you to suck my balls, but really, you already have.
Regards,
~The Man
P.S. DIAF"
Signing off...with little to no penetration
3 comments:
I will hurt someone for stealing my lunch...
Hahaha, that punchline at the end resulted in a coffee spray on my laptop screen, the laugh was worth the cleaning effort though! :p
that word verification is annoying, unless u are getting spammed I suggest u turn it off ;)
Yeah, until you get a larger amount of traffic I would suggest the turning off of the word verify.. :)
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